Eyebrow Clause

So today is Day 7 following my jaw surgery.

Before my surgery, thankfully I had a chance to live it up on vacation. But, as soon as I got home, I knew what lied in store. I had already done the meeting where they go over all the bad things that could possibility happen to you. I honestly believe that this spheel is not for me, the patient. It is the CYA spheel, they are just saying everything under the sun so you can’t sue them later. The worst thing they made me sign was the clause stating that I understood that the surgery was taking place next to the important thingy (nerve, muscle, etc) that allows me to move my eyebrows. I can't believe that I had to sign away my eyebrows before this procedure. Amazing.

Well, the good news is I can move my eyebrows and everything seems to be pretty much in working order. Sorta. I did get both sides placated (sewn in to place – ewwwwe gross) so that means I am on a liquid diet for the next three months (one down, 11 weeks to go).

I think that might be the hardest part of this whole experience. It is truly a forced diet. I am struggling everyday to get the right amount of nutrients, the pounds are flying off me and I am weak and cranky all the time. Not because I am hungry, that would be impossible as I eat, scratch that, drink every hour. But, because it seems like no matter how much I consume I just can’t reach the magic 2300 calorie marker. So this is the lingering effect, that and my head feels like the size of Texas.

On a more positive note. I am back to talking, back to work and back to being a pain in ISSB’s rear.

So that is the latest. More on the milkshake diet later!

Jaws…nope, not the movie

Regular readers, family and friends will know that I have been waiting patiently to have jaw surgery. Well, it has taken almost a year. Funny how I called it “on the fast track” last August.

To make a long story short. The insurance company only approved the right side of my jaw for surgery not the left. Apparently this major provider thinks I have jaws. Well doctors agree, I do only have one and if you work on one side you ought to work on the other as well. So appeal after appeal, waiting on hold for hours, getting mixed messages from my surgical coordinator and the insurance…and finally the last Friday in April they approved both sides.

And now, after all that, I go under tomorrow.

I won’t be talking for awhile. I am going on a liquid diet at least the next few weeks and at the worst the next 3-4 months. We just bought a juicer and I have tried out all the different protein drinks (so far I like Boathouse the best over Naked and Odwalla). But the good news is that they won’t wire me shut, but I have to be extra careful.

So wish me luck, send good vibes, be extra nice to ISSB: my favorite nursemaid, and don’t call – send email.

PS: since I will be laid up I will have plenty of time to finish the "Postcards from our trip" series.

Good news, bad news

Well the good news is that the kitchen remodel starts next week. The other good news is that the tooth-ache I had for the last two weeks is not a cavity. The other good news is that my doctor’s appointments can be scheduled around the remodel. The bad news is that the pain in my mouth was my jaw. And, for those who know me, Motor-Mouth-Morgan has been down this path before.

In 1997, I had been wearing braces for over five years when I had my first jaw surgery. It was just my upper jaw and the non-medical description is that because my jaw didn’t close properly my teeth didn’t meet. My teeth were also crooked and that is another reason for them not meeting. So five years of braces later when my teeth were all lined up they went in to line up my jaw. They did a great job and if you live in Minnesota and need a good oral surgeon, ask me. I was pretty much a-ok, until January of 2006 when I took a tumble down the steps at our old apartment, trip to the ER, a week of no walking and I had pretty much healed up. But, my jaw had shifted. The pain returned off an on depending on what I did that day (talking too much, chewing tough foods, sleeping with my hand under my head, etc). Then the gap in my teeth started to recede, and a year and a half later the pain is almost unbearable. Which is why I thought it was a tooth-ache. But no, all the muscles in my jaw are bruised, tired and ready for a vacation. Enter muscle relaxers. And physical therapy for my jaw. Next week, I meet with the orthodontist, dentist, physical therapist and the oral surgeon – very daunting.

I am a little nervous about going through it all again, but I am happy it is on the fast track and may all be over in the next few months. And ISSB is being a trooper coping with the idea of a silent house for 6 weeks.

I wonder, though, if I fall again or take trauma to my jaw will I have to do it again or do I give up? My mom always told me she should have named me Grace so that I would have some.

Stay tuned for the updates.